Donald J. Trump is many things, a creepy father, serial adulterer, and be Republican Presidential candidate. However, none of these things bother me as much as his role as a habitual hater of the cripples (or disabled). It isn't the fact that he constantly insults a group of people that bare no responsibility that have been born with or being in that particular situation, it's that the Spray On Don can't dish the verbal violence that this crippled comedian can.
Allow me to state my qualifications and my purpose. Being that I'm multiple time participant in the World Famous Comedy Store's Roast Battle and as someone with cerebral palsy that's in a wheelchair, I'm going to show the lead singer of The Small Hand Band, Don T., I am the man to write disabled material for him. I'll do this by writing better jokes about the disabled people Donald Trump has mocked, then I'll roast the millionaire Duvet Toupee himself.
Lets start with Trump's attack from last November of Serge Kovaleski, after Trump lied about one of this reproter's 2001 articles . What grinds my gears about this is Donald Trump denies mocking the disabled reporter's arthrogryposis arm, dispite clearly contorting his left arm while making a joke. Nevermind the cliche ableist cowardis of acting like he didn't just dis a disabled person, I'm just going to replace his jokes with my soul torching insults.
"You should see this Serge Kovelski guy, his disability is as hard to pronounce as his name, I don't know how he survived as a columnist with no typing hands; it's probaly why he no longer works at The Washington Post, and now ia at the failing New York Times. His memory is as twisted as his forearm".
Moving on, Trump's insults of paralyzed commentator Charles Krauthammer were like the previous attacks in how they only vaguely attack the disabliity in a very glib way.Trump said Charles Krauthammer was a loser who just sits there and can't buy a pair of pants. I thought The Donald was supposed to be proudly politically incorrect! Those who watch my comedy videos on Youtube (link here https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChD53_ErZBIKeKegoDUA8dQ) know that I ridicule disability outright.
"Can you believe this jebroni Charles Kripplehammer? His ideas are as outdated as his attempts to hide his disability from the public. Chuck's as severed from reality as his spine is from his body. We call him Chucks cause that's what he lines his wheelchair with to protect his seat from his incontinence. Don't give him a gun, he can't stand his ground! But at least Chucks has more legs than his buddy Bill Kristol's ideas of how to bring democracy to Iraq".
I think I made the case for why Mr. Duvet Toupee should leave denagrating disabled people to the qualified professionals, so that it remains as funny as possible; Trump's humor is inaccessible as his numerous properties. I can see through Donald Trump, for instance I know that the only reason he seems patriotic is because he looks like an eagle who has had all the feathers plucked from its face. Joe Eurell knows Donald Trump better than Donald Trump knows Donald Trump. While Donald Trump sees himself as the King of Debt who is a succesful businessman, I know he's really the Baron of Bankruptcy, who's dead brother has better business sense than he does.
Finally, the most important reason the Baron of Bankruptcy should hire me, is that I'll work for free and we all know the Don's record on not paying the people he contracts to do work for him
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